Without Choice, There is No Love: No Love that is Worth Anything.

Here’s the anomaly. Our #1 greatest fear is this: Unreciprocated love.

You know it. I know it. We all know it. Reading the first sentence probably gives you the chills. I don’t blame you. To feel rejected is a feeling that should fit no one.

But here’s where it gets tricky. We try to safeguard ourselves against being hurt so we often fail to allow others to love. We think staying away from others: friendships and dating is a safeguard. It’s safeguarding nothing but your ability to grow, hear me.

The more you try to force something, the less likely the forced will be able to choose for themselves. The less likely the desired outcome will come freely from the other.

The more you force, the less chance there is for choice to exist. Without choice, there is no will. Without the will, there is no freedom. Without freedom, there is no love.

Show me a society where people have no ability to choose and I will reveal in the same place a lack of love.

Show me a culture where souls have been robbed of their right to have a choice and I will show you how there cannot be freedom there.

If I were to receive pure love, in its purest form from someone, it would have to come from someone else’s choice.

If by coercion, it would not be love in its purest, spotless form. For this reason God gives us one of the most amazing gifts: choice.

For God so loves “love” and God is “LOVE” that He creates a world where free beings can give and receive love. His desire: That all come into this beautiful exchange, not only with each other but with Himself. I’m not talking just about romantic love. That is but one type, and God is the Author.

So God created the perfect conditions for freedom, choice and love to reign.

What you want is love. What I want is love. We all want love. Yet for you and I to have real love operating from real choice surrounded by real freedom, you need to let go. Yes, you heard right.

Let go of control. Better yet let go of this perceived notion that you have any control over someone else’s choices. You have influence, but not control. Two very different concepts. Influence operates from love, motivating another person to be their best while force operates from insecurity, thereby constraining another and robbing them of the ability to love freely.

Let go of the reigns, Rudolph. The Bible makes an amazing statement when it declares in 1 John that perfect love casts out fear.

In other words living apart from the Source of Love, who is God, is scary. There are consequences. Yes, an eternity without Him. Choose now who you will follow: God or the world. There is no in between.

The first man and woman chose wrong, and they invited in the consequences for their actions is sin. Now because of sin we all die. We don’t just die naturally, but spiritually. We are born cut from the source of Love: God. We need to be brought back. But how?

God was not coerced or forced into loving human beings. No, He became one. He walked not just one mile but 100,000 plus in our shoes so He could die for us. For the consequences (wages) of sin is death. Therefore something has to die because of sin, and not just something, but someone perfect. There we have Jesus, the perfect sacrifice.

Love is not forced. If you fear that someone close to you may no longer love you, realize that the more you try to force them to the less choice they have in the matter and the more it’s going to backfire. People don’t like to feel forced. And when they are they’ll usually do the opposite just to exhibit their power of choice.

After all without choice there is no love.

Therefore love is the sweet letting go of things you never could control. It is in losing this “perception of control” that you gain peace.

True peace. True opportunity for real love.

Love is also action. Love gives. Do you see the pattern in all of this? Love is not stagnant. Love is not just a mere emotional concept fit for the big screen and small pages of a romance novel. Many have mistaken it for that which is why many are confused, saddened and depressed to find out a different reality.

Love is not talking about it. Love doing something about it. You say you love a person, show me. You love by exercising your choice.

Believer, you say you love God, show me.

The Book of James in the Bible puts it incredibly well. It says blessed are the doers, for the hearers only deceive themselves. For if one hears from God and does nothing about anything they hear, they are only deceiving themselves. God is not mocked.

How will you love today? I encourage you to love God. Love others. Those are the two greatest commandments.

Alex Oram

October 6, 2018

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